Post by Beebs on Mar 16, 2008 2:29:24 GMT -6
Funny story, true story. I was talk to a friend through AIM and she fell asleep while we were talking. (headsets 
) At first, I wasn't sure if she was really asleep, so I was jokingly asking her in a soft voice if she had Narcolepsy, then I went into this whole retarded, made-up story about an elf with Narcolepsy named Billy who goes on fantastic adventures. xDDDDDD Thought I'd share his fabulous journey with everyone! Be warned, this is completely stupid and has no point. It was entirely improvisation and this is me recording what I remember of it. Contains references which a certain member might find hostile. xP
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Once upon a time, in Snowville, there lived Billy, the Narcoleptic elf. One day, Billy went to see the Wizard of Oz about his Narcolepsy. After approaching the man, Billy asked, "Please Mr. Wizard, I'd like a new brain, since this one is broken."
The kind wizard responded, "What, are you kidding me? I've got this crazy bitch running around with red shoes to worry about. Get lost."
So Billy decided to travel to Hollywood to tell the story of the cruel, old Ozian. When he got there, Billy the Narcoleptic elf found Cameron Diaz and explained his journey to her.
She questioned, "So...you starve yourself?"
"No," the elf answered, "That's Anorexia. I have Narcolepsy."
"So you're like a Narc?!" She exclaimed, spraying gasoline in the elf's face.
The fumes from the gas sent Billy the Narcoleptic elf into a Beatles song. Billy truly hated the lava lamp-like world, which was red and British. The elf traveled the British lamp song and round a giant ladybug creature. The ladybug agreed to aide him in his journey back to reality.
So, Billy the Narcoleptic Elf rode the lava lamp ladybug creature until they reached the other side of the lamp, which was 10 degrees cooler, allowing Billy's skin to only slightly burn. A portal emerged in front of him. The two traveled through, realizing they must now be in an alternate universe, because before them lay Avatar Goodies Freeplay.
Billy the Narcoleptic Elf and the lava lamp ladybug creature soon found themselves in front of Satan, a large, red, cartoon-like creature.
"What the heck is that thing?" Bill the Narcoleptic asked.
"Shut up, I'm sensitive." The large, horned beast responded.
"It's the most ravishing thing I've ever seen," a man responded, who went by the name of Keven.
Soon, Billy the Narcoleptic Elf, lava lamp ladybug creature, Satan, and Keven soon began traveling together.
"Let's go to Chicago!" Keven suggested, grasping onto his red-ass lover.
"No way, New York!" Satan responded and soon Keven used his fairy powers to create a rainbow pathway. When there, Satan created a large dust storm, which even affected people in the faraway land of Riyona. Lava lamp ladybug creature flew the group there, where the forest spirit cleared the world of it's dust.
"What the shit is wrong with you...you baboon-assed freak?!" Asked Vincent Valentine, shielding Miyo from the group, pointing Cerberus at them.
"Stop raining on my day!" Satan shouted, stomping on the ground before being shot and killed by Vincent. Keven knelt by his love and wept himself to death.
"Let's get out of here," the young elf suggested, flying the lava lamp ladybug creature to the edge of the skies of Freeplay and back into the Beatles' song. Once there, another portal emerged, allowing Billy to leave at last.
When he ended up back in Snowville, Billy the Narcoleptic Elf found that he had been in a coma ever since he saw Cameron Diaz. With a new lease on life, the young elf decided to take charge of his life. He purchased a trampoline, but his Narcolepsy caused him to fall asleep and bounce off, crushing a flower on the soft ground.
After awaking, Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf found himself surrounded by flower creatures. Their leader spoke, "You have killed the Princess of Flower World."
"Why was she in Snowtown if she was the Princess of Flower Wolrd?" Bilyl asked.
The flowerman answered, "Because she was on vacation. Now, you must pay."
Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf was taken to the Flower World, which, much to his surprise, was a dark and dreary world where flowers mined for coal, salt, and ET cartridges. The elf was imprisoned in a cell for committing high petal treason. Although he could easily break free, as the cell was made of wimpy leaves, Billy's Narcolepsy caused him to fall asleep, hitting his head against that wall that sent him to a strange new place.
All around him was white, until he caught a glimpse of red, which turned out to be Satan...flavored jelly beans. Afterwards he saw the real Satan.
"Welcome to the afterlife," said the beast, "Isn't it fabulous? Now you must pay.
Satan wedged an old fingernail into Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf's ear and laughed crazily.
"That's it?" Billy asked.
"Well...yes. An eternity of my broken fingernail in your ear. Keven here got an eternity of it up his ass."
"It's good." Keven responded, who was over to the left, laying on his side.
"No thanks," Billy responded, slamming his head against the ground, causing him to end up back in the Beatles' song.
Once there, Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf found the lava lamp ladybug creature and the two flew back to Freeplay. After arriving, the two traveled to Riyona and sought out Vincent Valentine.
"What the hell do you bastards want?" the Turk questioned.
"To live with you in your band of bitches." Billy answered.
"Fine. Come, my minions and I are riding to the town square in high fashion." Vincent commented, flipping his sash and boarding a Chocobo.
"Vincent," Miyo said, "How are there Chocobos in Riyona?"
"That's easy, woman," Vincent snapped, raising his head in pride, "This is obviously yet another spin-off of Final Fantasy VII."
"That doesn't make any sense." Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf stated.
"Silence!" Vincent screamed in a high pitched voice as he tore the wings off of lava lamp ladybug creature.
"Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf...I...I love you so!" the ladybug said with its final breath.
Billy's jaw dropped, then he replied, "Ewwwww." He was soon shot in the back by Vincent Valentine, ending up back in his home in Snowville.
As fate would have it, all of this had been a dream after Billy the Narcoleptic Now-No-Longer-Trampoline Elf fell asleep due to his Narcolepsy. Billy realized that he would now make sure to never fall asleep while standing, or talking to a friend, again. However, Billy was extremely tardy for his job at the shoe factory and was turned into an ant as punishment. Billy the Narcoleptic Ant was shot and killed by illegal immigrants two days later.
The End
-----------------
Told you, stupid. xDD
) At first, I wasn't sure if she was really asleep, so I was jokingly asking her in a soft voice if she had Narcolepsy, then I went into this whole retarded, made-up story about an elf with Narcolepsy named Billy who goes on fantastic adventures. xDDDDDD Thought I'd share his fabulous journey with everyone! Be warned, this is completely stupid and has no point. It was entirely improvisation and this is me recording what I remember of it. Contains references which a certain member might find hostile. xP-------------------------------------
Once upon a time, in Snowville, there lived Billy, the Narcoleptic elf. One day, Billy went to see the Wizard of Oz about his Narcolepsy. After approaching the man, Billy asked, "Please Mr. Wizard, I'd like a new brain, since this one is broken."
The kind wizard responded, "What, are you kidding me? I've got this crazy bitch running around with red shoes to worry about. Get lost."
So Billy decided to travel to Hollywood to tell the story of the cruel, old Ozian. When he got there, Billy the Narcoleptic elf found Cameron Diaz and explained his journey to her.
She questioned, "So...you starve yourself?"
"No," the elf answered, "That's Anorexia. I have Narcolepsy."
"So you're like a Narc?!" She exclaimed, spraying gasoline in the elf's face.
The fumes from the gas sent Billy the Narcoleptic elf into a Beatles song. Billy truly hated the lava lamp-like world, which was red and British. The elf traveled the British lamp song and round a giant ladybug creature. The ladybug agreed to aide him in his journey back to reality.
So, Billy the Narcoleptic Elf rode the lava lamp ladybug creature until they reached the other side of the lamp, which was 10 degrees cooler, allowing Billy's skin to only slightly burn. A portal emerged in front of him. The two traveled through, realizing they must now be in an alternate universe, because before them lay Avatar Goodies Freeplay.
Billy the Narcoleptic Elf and the lava lamp ladybug creature soon found themselves in front of Satan, a large, red, cartoon-like creature.
"What the heck is that thing?" Bill the Narcoleptic asked.
"Shut up, I'm sensitive." The large, horned beast responded.
"It's the most ravishing thing I've ever seen," a man responded, who went by the name of Keven.
Soon, Billy the Narcoleptic Elf, lava lamp ladybug creature, Satan, and Keven soon began traveling together.
"Let's go to Chicago!" Keven suggested, grasping onto his red-ass lover.
"No way, New York!" Satan responded and soon Keven used his fairy powers to create a rainbow pathway. When there, Satan created a large dust storm, which even affected people in the faraway land of Riyona. Lava lamp ladybug creature flew the group there, where the forest spirit cleared the world of it's dust.
"What the shit is wrong with you...you baboon-assed freak?!" Asked Vincent Valentine, shielding Miyo from the group, pointing Cerberus at them.
"Stop raining on my day!" Satan shouted, stomping on the ground before being shot and killed by Vincent. Keven knelt by his love and wept himself to death.
"Let's get out of here," the young elf suggested, flying the lava lamp ladybug creature to the edge of the skies of Freeplay and back into the Beatles' song. Once there, another portal emerged, allowing Billy to leave at last.
When he ended up back in Snowville, Billy the Narcoleptic Elf found that he had been in a coma ever since he saw Cameron Diaz. With a new lease on life, the young elf decided to take charge of his life. He purchased a trampoline, but his Narcolepsy caused him to fall asleep and bounce off, crushing a flower on the soft ground.
After awaking, Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf found himself surrounded by flower creatures. Their leader spoke, "You have killed the Princess of Flower World."
"Why was she in Snowtown if she was the Princess of Flower Wolrd?" Bilyl asked.
The flowerman answered, "Because she was on vacation. Now, you must pay."
Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf was taken to the Flower World, which, much to his surprise, was a dark and dreary world where flowers mined for coal, salt, and ET cartridges. The elf was imprisoned in a cell for committing high petal treason. Although he could easily break free, as the cell was made of wimpy leaves, Billy's Narcolepsy caused him to fall asleep, hitting his head against that wall that sent him to a strange new place.
All around him was white, until he caught a glimpse of red, which turned out to be Satan...flavored jelly beans. Afterwards he saw the real Satan.
"Welcome to the afterlife," said the beast, "Isn't it fabulous? Now you must pay.
Satan wedged an old fingernail into Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf's ear and laughed crazily.
"That's it?" Billy asked.
"Well...yes. An eternity of my broken fingernail in your ear. Keven here got an eternity of it up his ass."
"It's good." Keven responded, who was over to the left, laying on his side.
"No thanks," Billy responded, slamming his head against the ground, causing him to end up back in the Beatles' song.
Once there, Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf found the lava lamp ladybug creature and the two flew back to Freeplay. After arriving, the two traveled to Riyona and sought out Vincent Valentine.
"What the hell do you bastards want?" the Turk questioned.
"To live with you in your band of bitches." Billy answered.
"Fine. Come, my minions and I are riding to the town square in high fashion." Vincent commented, flipping his sash and boarding a Chocobo.
"Vincent," Miyo said, "How are there Chocobos in Riyona?"
"That's easy, woman," Vincent snapped, raising his head in pride, "This is obviously yet another spin-off of Final Fantasy VII."
"That doesn't make any sense." Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf stated.
"Silence!" Vincent screamed in a high pitched voice as he tore the wings off of lava lamp ladybug creature.
"Billy the Narcoleptic Trampoline Elf...I...I love you so!" the ladybug said with its final breath.
Billy's jaw dropped, then he replied, "Ewwwww." He was soon shot in the back by Vincent Valentine, ending up back in his home in Snowville.
As fate would have it, all of this had been a dream after Billy the Narcoleptic Now-No-Longer-Trampoline Elf fell asleep due to his Narcolepsy. Billy realized that he would now make sure to never fall asleep while standing, or talking to a friend, again. However, Billy was extremely tardy for his job at the shoe factory and was turned into an ant as punishment. Billy the Narcoleptic Ant was shot and killed by illegal immigrants two days later.
The End
-----------------
Told you, stupid. xDD
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